


From the Ashes

by korokcrossing



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Blind Character, Blind Roy Mustang, Disability, Hurt/Comfort, Parental Riza Hawkeye, Parental Roy Mustang, Post-Canon, Post-Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, Post-Promised Day
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 00:21:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28608972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/korokcrossing/pseuds/korokcrossing
Summary: What if Roy Mustang never regained his sight after the Promised Day?
Relationships: Alphonse Elric & Roy Mustang, Edward Elric & Roy Mustang, Riza Hawkeye/Roy Mustang
Comments: 10
Kudos: 47





	1. Prologue: The Aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first fic yay! (please be gentle haha)
> 
> FMAB is my favorite anime, and Roy Mustang is also my favorite anime character, so I have wanted to write something FMAB related for a long time now! (I know its been a long time so I hope the fandom isn't dead lol) I wanted to play around with a post-canon divergence AU and definitely wanted it to be Roy related.
> 
> I always found such a poetic sadness and also beauty in Roy losing his ability to see. a man with so much vision, only to have that taken away in a way that was not at all his fault. I wanted to write about his recovery and learning to ask for help, while also moving forward with his ambitions and creating a new life for himself. I also just really love the headcanon of Riza training Black Hayate to be Roy's seeing-eye dog, it's just too perfect! 
> 
> Please enjoy and I would appreciate feedback! :)

Roy Mustang was used to setbacks. Being adopted at a young age, being sent to fight in a merciless war and commit unspeakable crimes in the name of his home country of Amestris, even having his best friend and closest ally murdered in cold blood, these had all been incredibly hard on Roy in more ways than one. But he had always managed to work his way out of the pits of despair, guilt, and anger, gradually inching closer to his larger goal in life, becoming Fuhrer. 

Well, if these hardships were all rungs on the way up to his metaphorical ladder towards success, the Promised Day had abruptly pulled that ladder right out from underneath his feet, just as he was about to step up to the highest rung. 

Casualties, property damage, injuries, Roy had assumed these would all happen in the unavoidable conflict between the Amestrian military and the Homunculi. His meticulous strategic and tactical planning took all of these into account, he even had a plan in case he was to lose his life on the battlefield. Yet, Roy completely failed to plan for the permanent loss of his eyesight. 

As someone who was incredibly skilled and fiercely independent, it was disorienting to not be able to fight on his own. However, help from Lieutenant Hawkeye and the intense adrenaline pumping through his body in the heat of battle allowed him to feel some semblance of power over the situation. In fact, the joy of victory and rush of all the chaos happening around Roy almost allowed him to forget the larger implications of the sight he had just lost. 

It wasn’t until he was in a medical tent, sitting alone, waiting for the puncture wounds in his palms to be bandaged, that he started to panic. How the _hell _was he going to do anything now? He couldn’t even walk ten feet without guidance, and he still had the audacity to have ambitions to run one of the most powerful countries in the world? Roy never thought of himself as an anxious person, but right now, he was terrified. Everything he had worked for, all the sacrifices his friends made, the lives that had been lost, they were for nothing if he could not fulfill the promises he had made. Just as it felt like his whole world was imploding, a hand gently rested on Roy’s shoulder.__

__“Colonel, I’m on your left,” an all too familiar voice said evenly._ _

__This brought him back to reality in a snap._ _

__“How are your injuries Lieutenant? Did they give you proper treatment?”_ _

__“Yes sir,” Riza says. “My injuries have been treated temporarily but they need to do a more precise procedure to make sure the wound on my neck stays closed. The doctors say they want us both to be checked into the military hospital as soon as possible.”_ _

__As Roy was still struggling to catch his breath and regain composure from his episode of mental spiraling, all he could manage was a weak nod in response._ _

__He hated thinking about what came next._ _

__He was going to have to relearn absolutely everything, and the mere thought of this made his stomach twist itself tightly into a knot._ _

__He hated that his plans had been flipped on their heads because of the actions of a defeated foe._ _

__He hated that he was not going to walk away from this the same man he was yesterday._ _

__He hated that he was likely going to struggle with small mundane tasks that had once been easy._ _

__And he hated that Riza was going to be there to watch it all._ _


	2. Awakening

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here is the first "real" chapter!
> 
> Thanks for checking out my first ever fic, I am really enjoying writing this, and I hope you enjoy reading it! :)

_Two swords swiftly pierced Roy’s palms._

_The pain was searing, intense._

_A sickly blue light flooded his periphery._

_His mind raced._

_“No, I don’t want this. I can’t do this. This needs to stop. How do I end this? I can’t make it stop. Make it stop!”_

_His brain was crying out for help, even though his voice could do nothing but yell in agony._

_Small, snake-like black hands slither towards his body, deconstructing him._

_He is thrown into a white void._

_With a heavy creak, the gargantuan stone doors before him open, and he is forced through them._

_Everything, alchemy, life, the universe, it felt like his head was going to explode._

_It felt like he was falling, both physically into the void and mentally into insanity._

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Roy wakes with a jolt. He keeps having the same dream, and he is so beyond sick of having to relive the same goddamn moment every time he finally nods off to sleep. The worst part isn’t the nightmare though, it's waking up. He feels a small wave of grief all over again every time he opens his eyes to absolutely nothing, it still felt so alien and wrong to him. 

Riza had noticed these little moments of surprise upon waking up, they broke her heart. She wished so desperately that she could do something to help or comfort the Colonel. Every time she tries to ask him how he’s feeling, he plasters a confident smirk on his face and tells her not to worry. She obviously knows he’s trying not to let her see the cracks in his facade, but she really just wants Roy to be honest with her, to confide in her. There is no way in hell he is okay with all of this. Riza knows him better than anyone (or at least she likes to think), and she cannot imagine a man of such drive and ambition quickly accepting the fact that he now had a life-altering disability that made him largely dependent on others. 

Breda, Falman, and Fuery were a welcome distraction for Roy. He requested- no, ordered them to bring him materials on Ishvalan culture, economics, and society and read them aloud to him constantly. Riza was secretly growing weary of the constant presence of the other soldiers in their room, as she was trying to recover too, she had lost quite a bit of blood and still felt weak and faint on most days. But Riza knew the Colonel needed something to keep himself occupied, especially since he was waiting on results from a recent test. 

It was a Tuesday afternoon, a little over a week after the Promised Day, when a doctor, young and lean with sleek brown hair, walked into Roy and Riza’s shared room. 

“Doctor Fleming, good afternoon,” Riza said to alert Roy to the doctor’s presence.

“Good afternoon to you as well,” Dr. Fleming said, nodding in her direction. “Colonel Mustang, I’ve brought with me the results back from our test and examination of your eyes.” Roy thought his voice sounded uneasy.

“Well, no need to hesitate Doctor,” Roy said with false bravado, an attempt to hide the dread that was building up into a lump in his throat. “Anything you can say to me, you can say in front of my Lieutenant.” The doctor grunted a bit as he sat in a visitor chair next to Roy’s bed.

“Alright then, we’ll just get right into it, make this quick.” Dr. Fleming took a deep breath before he proceeded as if preparing himself to say something horrible. “Your optic nerves...it’s bizarre. They’re completely severed. I’m sorry Colonel Mustang, there is nothing at all we can do to fix this.” 

The silence in the room was palpable. Both Riza and the doctor anxiously watched Roy, worrying how he would take such devastating news. He did not seem to react to this at all, he just sat, unfocused eyes staring at the wall in front of him. After a moment of quiet that felt like an eternity to Riza, Roy simply said, “Alright. Thank you for looking into it, doctor.” 

“The next step from here is rehabilitation and training. We have an outstanding occupational therapist here who specializes in assisting those with vision impairments,” Dr. Fleming stated factually. 

_Visually impaired, ha. That was an awfully soft way to put it,_ Roy thought to himself. 

“We’d like you to start sessions with him as soon as tomorrow, so you can have plenty of time to adjust,” the doctor continued. Turning towards Riza, he said “I also recommend asking your friends to maybe help clear out and streamline the Colonel’s home as much as possible before he returns home. The fewer obstacles and things to clean up will be quite helpful for him as he moves forward.” 

This last sentence to Roy was the most upsetting thing the doctor said in this entire visit. His friends, no, his subordinates, were going to have to make _his own damn apartment_ accessible and safe so he could just go home. It made him furious, livid, but Roy knew that under no circumstances could he let the doctor and Riza see him crack. 

“Thank you for the information doctor,” Roy said coolly. “I look forward to working with your specialist. Hopefully, I can be out of here as soon as possible.” 

Dr. Fleming seemed surprised at how calm the notorious Flame Alchemist of Ishval was after being told he would never be able to see ever again. He took this as a good sign however, and thought it meant Roy was doing well and had amply processed the loss he had incurred.

And how wrong he was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time:
> 
> Roy's rehabilitation sessions lead him to take a walk into the hospital room belonging to two young alchemists. 
> 
> (Is there something you'd like to see happen in the story? Anything you'd like to see Roy deal with? I would love to hear and take suggestions! Feel free to let me know in the comments!)


	3. Adjustment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG AH
> 
> I feel terrible that it took me almost two months to update this, my upper division university classes have just been absolutely destroying me and I struggled with this chapter because (as I'm sure you can tell) I suck at writing dialogue lmao
> 
> but anyways thanks for all the love! even if it takes me a while to update, I promise not to abandon this fic!

It had been a week since Roy began his in-patient occupational therapy, and he was miserable. Sure, the specialists were nice and knowledgeable enough, but he couldn’t help but feel like they looked down on him. In fact, this is how Roy felt about everyone now, and he _hated_ it. 

He was slowly learning to do more things on his own, but every time he knocked over a glass, bumped into something, or motioned in the wrong direction, he could feel his face grow hot with embarrassment and shame. These mistakes were often followed by a brief beat of silence from whomever was in the room with him, and it always seemed to emphasize the awkwardness of every situation. 

The Flame Alchemist used to be feared, the subject of urban legend and horror stories from the Ishvalan War of Extermination. Roy didn’t particularly enjoy that reputation of his, but he would have taken that over being someone who now needed constant assistance. Riza would not leave him alone unless it was with an occupational therapist or doctor, and insisted on accompanying him on his daily walks even against her doctor’s orders. Even though Roy begged her to take better care of herself, he secretly was incredibly grateful for her company. Feeling her soft yet sturdy grip on his elbow grounded him and made him feel safe. 

As much as it still embarrassed him, Roy was slowly but surely getting used to using a cane to navigate himself around spaces. What he was not used to however, was the newfound insecurity that felt like it was swallowing him everytime he left his room or interacted with another person. It pained Riza to see him so defeated, frustrated and grief-stricken. Though she would never admit it even if a gun were pointed to her head, she would sometimes hear Roy quietly sniffling in the early hours of the morning. She could tell these were cries of anger and embarrassment, and it broke her heart every time it happened. Riza, ever so perceptive, could sense the once confident and boisterous General losing his security in everyday life, and she was determined to help him get it back. 

Now that she was well on the road to recovery, Riza and Roy’s walks through the hospital were becoming more and more frequent, as they were working hard to get Roy adjusted enough to be able to leave the safety of the hospital. One afternoon, while Riza was reading in bed and Roy was working on more of his braille lessons in his, the two were greeted by a knock on their door. At this, Roy jolted upright in a way that almost concerned Riza. “Come in,” Riza said evenly to the unknown visitor.

Second Lieutenant Falman walked in and greeted the two with a friendly smile and salute, making himself known to Roy, said “Hi you two! Just stopping in to say hi! How are you both feeling?”

Unbeknownst to Roy, Riza and Falman shot each other a knowing glance. Falman nodded, as did Riza. They both had been talking privately about something that might get Roy’s spirits up, and the time had finally come. Roy began “Just fine Second Lieutenant. I-”

“We,” Riza interrupted. “We were just about to actually go on another walk, Second Lieutenant, so you’ve caught us at not a great time. Would you mind coming back a bit later?”

Falman grinned at Riza as she said this, while Roy looked in their direction with visible confusion plastered on his face. “We...what? I didn’t-” Roy stammered.

“Yup, we’re going!” Riza said in a tone that was unusually chipper for her, as she grabbed Roy’s cane and slippers for him, placing the cane in his hand and the slippers just touching the sides of his feet so he knew where they were.

“No problem, I’ll catch you two a bit later then. Enjoy your walk!” Falman said with a grin as he strode out of the room. 

Roy was quite confused by this impromptu walk, especially considering they had already gone on one just an hour ago.

“Why the sudden desire to go for a walk again Lieutenant? It’s not that I really mind, I just don’t really know where this is coming from,” Roy inquired.

“Just because I think it would do us some good, that’s all.” Riza was being too cryptic for Roy’s liking, and it made him nervous, well, more than he already was as he wound his way through the hospital hallways gripping Riza and his cane like his life depended on it. They walked for some time until Riza placed her arm on Roy’s upper arm.

“This is where we’re stopping sir.” Stopping? Roy couldn’t quite tell, but he was fairly certain this wasn’t their room, as they went up once in an elevator. They never made stops on their walks, so what was this?

Roy heard Riza knock lightly on a door he supposed was in front of them twice. She then opened the door, leading Roy into the room.

“Well look who it is, the Colonel. Great, just what we need,” said a sarcastic voice that filled Roy with both annoyance and relief.

“Colonel!” said another voice, kinder and higher pitched. Though it was missing its usual tinny reverberation, Roy could instantly tell it was Alphonse, in the flesh no less. God, he wished he could see what he looks like, but just hearing his voice sounding so cheery instantly made Roy feel multitudes better. 

“It’s good to hear you’re alright Fullmetal, I was worried about you after that hell of a fight,” Roy said as Riza helped him find the chair for him to sit in.

“How are your injuries? How are you adjusting Al?” Roy inquired as he sat down and folded his cane up, sitting it in his lap.

“Well, you obviously can’t really tell, but I’m pretty much alright at this point,” Ed said nonchalantly.

“The only reason I’m still in here is that I had to have surgery on my shoulder to get rid of all the automail chunks stuck in there. It’s so goddamn annoying, I finally get this stupid arm back and it’s in such bad shape that I can’t even use it yet and I gotta stay in bed to let it heal! God, talk about a raw deal,” Ed said with a snarl.

“Oh and I guess I gotta keep this guy company too,” Ed said with a smirk and a hint of sarcasm as he motioned towards Al. Even though he didn’t see Ed’s joking gestures, this still made Roy chuckle lightly, something Riza hadn’t heard in a long while.

Al giggled at this too, and chimed in, “My body atrophied quite a bit on the other side, so I still have a lot of recovering to do, but as of yesterday, I can eat solid food now, and stay awake for most of the day!”

Wait, Al wasn’t able to eat solid food until yesterday? Or stay awake for extended periods of time? Roy had no idea he had been in such dire condition, in fact, he felt guilty now for pitying himself so much this past week. How the boy was able to stay so chipper Roy had no idea, but he absolutely admired it.

“I’m glad to hear it Al, have you been eating anything off your list?” Roy asked with a smile. 

As Al talked about what he had eaten and what he planned to, Riza noticed Roy smiling. Not his now typical half grimace half-grin, but a real, genuine smile. This is exactly what Riza had hoped for, and why she insisted Falman constantly update her on the Elric brothers’ status. She needed to know the second they could have visitors because Roy couldn’t stay another moment in that room. Yes, his military comrades had been popping in and out, but what Roy needed was _them_. The Elrics lifted his spirits like nobody else could, and Riza had seen this time and time again. Watching them succeed, overcome the incredibly tough lot they had been given in life, it was one of Roy’s real joys in life, whether he knew it or not. Watching him glow as he talked to those boys about menial things like apple pie and Roy’s favorite restaurants in Central confirmed for Riza something she had always known in the back of her head, the old Roy was still in there somewhere, behind all the walls he had recently built, behind all the insecurity and fear. Roy’s future was incredibly bright, even if he couldn’t see all of the light just yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whew longest chapter yet! I hope you enjoyed it! please keep sending feedback in the comments, it seriously means a lot! 
> 
> also if you want more of my anime brainrot all my socials are @kaleecrossing lol


End file.
